Monday 18 June 2012

...it's Non-believer

I do not believe in God.  Some days I may 'pray' to something, somewhere, to help me out or give me a break, but I don't believe there is somebody out there who is listening and can change things.  But, since having a child, my categorical belief that there is no God has been brought into question.  It has surprised me and confused me.

Firstly I wonder if by through my non-believing I could be jeapordising my son's future or 'god-forbid' anything should happen to him, my son's opportunity to go to heaven...just in case there is one!

I was christened as a baby, as were most people my age and recently a few friends have had their children christened.  I have wondered if I should do the same with the boy.  Not just for the afore mentioned reasons, or the fact that you get loads of lovely presents, but because it is a part of his heritage and culture.

I live in a town which is highly diverse in terms of culture and while I love it and am excited for the boy to live in such a place where I will hope he will learn about other religions, cultures etc first hand and hopefully be open-minded, accepting of differences and willing to learn and try new things.  I come from a small, middle class, very white town. Perhaps in this mixed city I should be encouraging the boy to learn and celebrate his culture and traditions even more? 


The boy has a name with religious connotations and while this was not a reason for me choosing it, the fact that Gabriel is an important figure in the Bible, the Koran and other religions made me like it even more.

I am already having to look at schools, some people say I should have done this when the boy was even younger but here I am.  A nursery we looked at is linked to a church.  Part of me is concerned that he has to thank god for his food and there is 'bible time'.  The nursery do also talk about other religions.  But then the other half of me feels comforted by this and I confess I quite like it.  I went to a Church of England school and it didn't do me any harm (I don't think!) Looking back I like the idea of the boy going to assemblies, learning about the stories in the Bible (from a child's prespective) and thanking someone (if it has to be God, ok) for his food, like I used to.

But I don't understand why.  I know I don't believe in God.  If the boy chooses to then I will fully support him and never question his faith (until he is old enough to have debates about politics and religion) but do I want to 'risk' this just because I like that it's his culture and tradition.  Is it reason enough to want him to have this because it's part of his heritage?  Or am I being a complete hypocrite and unfair to the people who really do believe?

I don't believe in God, I dislike the culture of the Church, it's money, it's 'cult' like sermons, and more recently it's statement against gay marriage.  But, there are elements of it that I find comforting; the feeling of belonging, some of the routines and rules and maybe just the familiarity.


There is a constant battle going on in my head - am I doing the right thing? I should stick to my principles. Does it really matter that much?  I don't suppose anybody has the answers to these questions except me....or do they? As someone once said "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."





2 comments:

  1. I could have written almost this exact post. Infact I have one in draft at the moment ready to finalise and post.

    We were honest with our Reverend about our beliefs, or non belief in my husbands case and they still welcomed us and let us Christen both of our sons.

    I think if it feels important to you, and something you need to do, then do it.
    If you feel as though you would be dreading the day and not feel comfortable when there, then don't do it.

    I also like the idea of a religious school but as I can't continue the learning at home (through lack of knowledge really) and my husband feeling uncomfortable about it we won't send our sons to one.

    I do make sure that they know the history when it comes to Christmas and Easter though. I think its important that everyone, believers and non-believers, recognise that essentially these times aren't about chocolate and Santa but are religious occassions.

    Sorry for the long reply.
    Really enjoyed your post :-) x

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  2. Thanks for your comment, it's a really confusing issue isn't it? All I know is that my little boy loves his nursery and I guess that's the most important thing, even if I have to defend myself, to myself every day!

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