Last week I learnt a new word: 'SMOG'. It stands for Smug Mum of Girls. I am the mother of a boy. Does this make me a SMOB? Is there such thing as a SMOB?
Apparently all mothers really, deep down want a girl. Those that do are SMOGs. Not just because they have their darling little girl, but because they are the fairer sex; they are nicer, calmer, and get to wear pretty clothes.
Now although I would have been happy with either sex, and would be happy if the next one, whenever that may be, is a girl, just a little bit of me wanted a boy more. I wanted a boy for a number of reasons:
I wanted my younger children to have an older brother. Perhaps this is because being the eldest and being a girl, sometimes I used to wish for an older brother for myself (this could also be because I didn't live with my Dad)
I grew up in an all female house. Two sisters and my mum. There were times when it resembled a battle field. I have seen relationships between mothers and their sons and from afar they just don't seem as difficult emotionally. (I am coming at this from a completely one-sided view and with very little experience so it's all tongue in cheek!) I like that once a family of boys get older, the mother, although she may get picked on, is also very protected.
I've always got on well with boys. I have always had male friends, even at primary school I remember playing TJ Hooker (police tv show for those too young to remember) with boys in my class. Throughout school, at work and at university, I have been able to get on well with boys. Perhaps my preference for a boy was because I felt I'd like him more than a girl!
Now that I've had a boy, people ask if I want the next one to be a girl. I can honestly say I don't. I would be happy if it was a girl, but I would be just as happy if it was a boy. I know you're not supposed to say what you would 'prefer', but I think I like the idea of two boys. I don't have this need that some women (or all if you believe the SMOGs) have for a little girl.
I've experienced having a boy (for only a short time I know!) but in comparison to girls, they seem easier. I'm not the only person that thinks this. I have spoken to mothers and carers that feel the same. There is a misconception that boys are boisterous and loud, but it's the girls I see at groups or friend's girls that are much more feisty and independent. Many mums tell me that boys are more loving. They like to be affectionate and will sit and cuddle.
One of the things that SMOGs are smug about apparently is clothes. They say they feel sorry for mums of boys who have little choice and can only dress them in dark colours. I feel sorry for mums of girls whose only choice is pink, pink and more pink! That's all I see when I go shopping, they may have more clothes to choose from but you're still stuck between flowers, fairies and pink. ALL children's clothing is poor, whether you are a boy or a girl!
My final reasons for wanting a boy have more to do with my experience as a woman. When boys become men their lives are much simpler. They don't get pregnant. They don't wear make-up. They don't fixate about their body. They don't get raped. They don't choose bad men. BEFORE YOU START SHOUTING AT ME...this is generally speaking. Of course I know these things happen to men. I just mean that overall there is much more I would worry about with a girl. As a woman I think life is a little harder than it is for a man. I'm not saying that being a man is easy, just easier.
My boss once told me that she raises her two son's to be good husbands; good men, sensitive, the kind of men we would like our daughters to bring home. So what do we raise our girls to be? From what I've seen most are strong, independent, aggressive little things in pink. Women that can stand up to the inequality they face and be strong in a world where men are dominant. Perhaps the stereotypes are reversing and the next generation of Mums will all be SMOBs, proud of their nice, calm boys. That must mean I'm ahead of the times because I already am a gloating SMOB.
